{"id":202,"date":"2024-07-08T11:27:20","date_gmt":"2024-07-08T16:27:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/uwm.edu\/lgbtrc\/?page_id=202"},"modified":"2026-04-06T08:53:05","modified_gmt":"2026-04-06T13:53:05","slug":"gender-pronouns","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/uwm.edu\/lgbtrc\/support-resources\/gender-pronouns\/","title":{"rendered":"Gender Pronouns"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Frequently Asked Questions<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"uwm-p-accordion uwm-p-accordion--icon-left-circle\" data-accordion-prefix-classes=\"uwm\" data-accordion-cool-selectors=\"1\"><button class=\"uwm-p-accordion--toggle-button size-p-md\">Expand All<\/button>\n<div class=\"uwm-p-accordion--header\">What if I make a mistake?<\/div><div class=\"uwm-p-accordion--panel\"><div class=\"uwm-p-accordion--panel-inner uwm-u-clear\">\n<p>It\u2019s okay! Everyone slips up from time to time. The best thing to do if you use the wrong pronoun for someone is to say something right away, like \u201cSorry, I meant (insert pronoun)\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you realize your mistake after the fact, apologize in private and move on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A lot of the time it can be tempting to go on and on about how bad you feel that you messed up or how hard it is for you to get it right. Please don\u2019t!&nbsp;It is inappropriate and makes the person who was misgendered feel awkward and responsible for comforting you, which is absolutely not their job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Taking an active role in&nbsp;your classes, you may hear one of your students using the wrong pronoun for someone. In most cases, it is appropriate to gently correct them without further embarrassing the individual who has been misgendered. This means saying something like \u201cAlex&nbsp;uses the pronoun she,\u201d and then moving on. If other students or faculty are consistently using the wrong pronouns for someone, do not ignore it! It is important to let your student know that you are their ally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It may be appropriate to approach them and say something like \u201cI noticed that you were getting referred to with the wrong pronoun earlier, and I know that that can be really hurtful. Would you be okay with me taking them aside and reminding them about your pronouns?\u201d Follow up if necessary, but take your cues from the comfort level of your student. Your actions will be greatly appreciated.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"uwm-p-accordion--header\">How do I ask someone what pronouns they use?<\/div><div class=\"uwm-p-accordion--panel\"><div class=\"uwm-p-accordion--panel-inner uwm-u-clear\">\n<p>Try asking: \u201cWhat pronouns do you use?\u201d or \u201cCan you remind me what pronouns you use?\u201d It can feel awkward at first, but it is not half as awkward as making a hurtful assumption. Also asking about when you can use those pronouns helps protect people from being outed; this can sound like \u201cAre there any situations where you don\u2019t want me to use these pronouns?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you are asking as part of an introduction exercise and you want to quickly explain what gender pronouns are, you can try something like this: \u201cTell us your name, where you come from, and your pronouns. That means the pronouns that you use in reference to yourself. For example, I\u2019m Xena, I\u2019m from Amazon Island, and I like to be referred to with she, her, and hers pronouns. So you could say, \u2018she went to her car\u2019 if you were talking about me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It is important to remember that by consistently asking people for their pronouns, you can help create a more normalized and safe way for others to share their pronouns, which they may not have been able to do before.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>However, there are multiple reasons why someone may not want to share their pronouns in a group setting. If someone does not share their pronouns, feel free to use their name as a placeholder or ask in a more private setting.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"uwm-p-accordion--header\">Why is it important to respect people&#8217;s pronouns?<\/div><div class=\"uwm-p-accordion--panel\"><div class=\"uwm-p-accordion--panel-inner uwm-u-clear\">\n<p>You can\u2019t always know what someone\u2019s pronouns are by looking at them. Asking and correctly using someone\u2019s pronouns is one of the most basic ways to show your respect for their gender identity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When someone is referred to with the wrong pronoun, it can make them feel disrespected, invalidated, dismissed, alienated, or dysphoric (often all of the above). All major professional American psychological and psychiatric associations recognize that inclusive language usage for LGBTQ+ youth and adults drastically decreases experiences of depression, social anxiety, suicidal ideation, and other negative mental health factors.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It is a privilege to not have to worry about which pronoun someone is going to use for you based on how they perceive your gender. If you have this privilege, yet fail to respect someone else\u2019s gender identity, it is not only disrespectful and hurtful, but also oppressive.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"uwm-p-accordion--header\">What are some commonly used pronouns?<\/div><div class=\"uwm-p-accordion--panel\"><div class=\"uwm-p-accordion--panel-inner uwm-u-clear\">\n<p>She\/her\/hers and he\/him\/his are a few commonly used pronouns. Some people call these \u201cfeminine\u201d and \u201cmasculine\u201d pronouns, but many people avoid these labels because not everyone who uses he\/him\/his feels \u201cmasculine\u201d and not everyone who uses she\/her\/hers feels \u201cfeminine\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>There are also lots of other pronouns in use, some of them more gender neutral. Here are a few you might hear:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>They\/them\/theirs (\u201cShea ate their food because they were hungry.\u201d) This is a pretty common gender-neutral pronoun and it can be used in the singular. Singular \u201cthey\u201d is not a new concept to English speakers \u2013 singular they is often used if we do not know the person we are talking about (\u201cWho called you? What did they want?\u201d)<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Ze\/hir\/hir (\u201cTyler ate hir food because ze was hungry.\u201d) Ze is pronounced like \u201czee\u201d can also be spelled zie or xe, and replaces she\/he\/they. Hir is pronounced like \u201chere\u201d and replaces her\/hers\/him\/his\/they\/theirs.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Per\/per\/pers (\u201cKyla ate per food because per were hungry.\u201d) Think of it as a shortened version of \u201cperson\u201d.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>It\/it\/its (\u201cAlex ate its food because it was hungry.\u201d) It was previously thought that these pronouns could only be offensive when used, but as long as you are not misgendering someone by using it\/it\/its, these are valid pronouns for someone to use.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Just my name please! (Ash ate Ash\u2019s food because Ash was hungry) Some people prefer not to use pronouns at all, using their name instead of a pronoun.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Some people also use more than one set of pronouns. This can be denoted as \u201cthey\/she\u201d or \u201cthey\/them\/theirs and she\/her\/hers\u201d. When someone uses multiple sets of pronouns, it could mean that they are okay with either one being used, or that they accept both, but have a preference towards the one that is listed first. If you have any questions, respectfully ask the person! A person of any gender can use multiple sets of pronouns.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Purposefully&nbsp;<strong>misgendering<\/strong>&nbsp;(using the wrong pronouns, ignoring someone\u2019s pronouns in use, or using incorrect gendered language for someone) is offensive and disrespectful to anyone, but especially to trans and gender non-confirming individuals.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"uwm-p-accordion--header\">What is a pronoun?<\/div><div class=\"uwm-p-accordion--panel\"><div class=\"uwm-p-accordion--panel-inner uwm-u-clear\">\n<p>A pronoun is a word that refers to either the people talking (\u201cI\u201d or \u201cyou\u201d) or someone or something that is being talked about (like \u201cshe\u201d, \u201cit\u201d, \u201cthem\u201d, and \u201cthis\u201d). Gender pronouns (she\/they\/he\/ze etc.) specifically refer to the person you are referring to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Pronouns are part of someone\u2019s gender expression, and people can have multiple sets of pronouns for themselves (such as using both he\/him\/his and they\/them\/theirs). Pronouns are not \u201cpreferred\u201d but instead are required for respectful communication. Not only transgender or nonbinary communities use pronouns, as it is something we all use and have since we were young.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"a1\">Pronouns \u2013 A How To Guide<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>The numbered blanks can be filled with the pronouns below to show the different uses of pronoun options.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Subject:<\/strong> __1__ laughed at the notion of a gender binary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Object:<\/strong> They tried to convince __2__ that asexuality does not exist.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Possessive:<\/strong> __3__ favorite color is unknown.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Possessive Pronoun:<\/strong> The pronoun card is __4__.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Reflexive:<\/strong> __1__ think(s) highly of __5__.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"uwm-c-table\"><table class=\"has-fixed-layout\"><thead><tr><th>1<\/th><th>2<\/th><th>3<\/th><th>4<\/th><th>5<\/th><\/tr><\/thead><tbody><tr><td>(f)ae<\/td><td>(f)aer<\/td><td>(f)aer<\/td><td>(f)aers<\/td><td>(f)aerself<\/td><\/tr><tr><td>e\/ey<\/td><td>em<\/td><td>eir<\/td><td>eirs<\/td><td>eirself<\/td><\/tr><tr><td>he<\/td><td>him<\/td><td>his<\/td><td>his<\/td><td>himself<\/td><\/tr><tr><td>per<\/td><td>per<\/td><td>pers<\/td><td>pers<\/td><td>perself<\/td><\/tr><tr><td>she<\/td><td>her<\/td><td>her<\/td><td>hers<\/td><td>herself<\/td><\/tr><tr><td>they<\/td><td>them<\/td><td>their<\/td><td>theirs<\/td><td>themself<\/td><\/tr><tr><td>ve<\/td><td>ver<\/td><td>vis<\/td><td>vis<\/td><td>verself<\/td><\/tr><tr><td>xe<\/td><td>xem<\/td><td>xyr<\/td><td>xyrs<\/td><td>xemself<\/td><\/tr><tr><td>ze\/ziehir<\/td><td>hir<\/td><td>hir<\/td><td>hirs<\/td><td>hirself<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Note: the top line is meant to indicate two separate \u2013 but similarly spelled \u2013 sets of pronouns. They are ae\/aer\/aers and fae\/faer\/faers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/pronouns.minus18.org.au\/\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" target=\"_blank\">Pronouns Practice App (Minus18)<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"a2\">Gender Neutral \/ Gender Inclusive Pronouns<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>A gender neutral or gender inclusive pronoun is a pronoun which does not associate a gender with the individual who is being discussed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Some languages, such as English, do not have a gender neutral or third gender pronoun available, and this has been criticized, since in many instances, writers, speakers, etc. use \u201che\/his\u201d when referring to a generic individual in the third person. Also, the dichotomy of \u201che and she\u201d in English does not leave room for other gender identities, which is a source of frustration to the transgender and gender queer communities.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>People who are limited by languages which do not include gender neutral pronouns have attempted to create them, in the interest of greater equality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"uwm-c-table\"><table><tbody><tr><td><strong>SHE<\/strong><\/td><td><strong>HER<\/strong><\/td><td><strong>HER<\/strong><\/td><td><strong>HERS<\/strong><\/td><td><strong>HERSELF<\/strong><\/td><\/tr><tr><td><strong>HE<\/strong><\/td><td><strong>HIM<\/strong><\/td><td><strong>HIS<\/strong><\/td><td><strong>HIS<\/strong><\/td><td><strong>HIMSELF<\/strong><\/td><\/tr><tr><td>zie<\/td><td>zim<\/td><td>zir<\/td><td>zis<\/td><td>zieself<\/td><\/tr><tr><td>sie<\/td><td>sie<\/td><td>hir<\/td><td>hirs<\/td><td>hirself<\/td><\/tr><tr><td>ey<\/td><td>em<\/td><td>eir<\/td><td>eirs<\/td><td>eirself<\/td><\/tr><tr><td>ve<\/td><td>ver<\/td><td>vis<\/td><td>vers<\/td><td>verself<\/td><\/tr><tr><td>tey<\/td><td>ter<\/td><td>tem<\/td><td>ters<\/td><td>terself<\/td><\/tr><tr><td>e<\/td><td>em<\/td><td>eir<\/td><td>eirs<\/td><td>emself<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"a3\">History of Gender Inclusive Pronouns<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Native English Pronouns<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cOu, a\u201d: Native English Gender-Neutral Pronouns. According to Dennis Baron\u2019s Grammar and Gender:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<pre class=\"wp-block-preformatted\">In 1789, William H. Marshall records the existence of a dialectal English epicene pronoun, singular ou : \"'Ou will' expresses either&nbsp;<em>he<\/em>&nbsp;will,&nbsp;<em>she<\/em>&nbsp;will, or&nbsp;<em>it<\/em>&nbsp;will.\" Marshall traces ou to Middle English epicene a, used by the fourteenth-century English writer John of Trevisa, and both the OED and Wright's English Dialect Dictionary confirm the use of a for&nbsp;<em>he, she, it, they,<\/em>&nbsp;and even&nbsp;<em>I<\/em>.<\/pre>\n\n\n\n<pre class=\"wp-block-preformatted\">The dialectal epicene pronoun a is a reduced form of the Old and Middle English masculine and feminine pronouns&nbsp;<em>he<\/em>&nbsp;and&nbsp;<em>heo<\/em>. By the twelfth and thirteenth centuries, the masculine and feminine pronouns had developed to a point where, according to the OED, they were \"almost or wholly indistinguishable in pronunciation.\" The modern feminine pronoun&nbsp;<em>she<\/em>, which first appears in the mid twelfth century, seems to have been drafted at least partly to reduce the increasing ambiguity of the pronoun system....<\/pre>\n\n\n\n<p>He goes on to describe how relics of these sex-neutral terms survive in some British dialects of Modern English, and sometimes a pronoun of one gender might be applied to a person or animal of the opposite gender.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Language Authorities<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">\u201cOne\u201d<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>In 1770, Robert Baker suggested use of \u201cone, ones\u201d instead of \u201cone, his\u201d, since there was no equivalent \u201cone, hers\u201d. Others shared this sentiment in 1868, 1884, 1979, and even now. Others throughout this period disagreed, finding it too pedantic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">\u201cHis or Her\u201d vs. Singular \u201cThey\u201d<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Around 1795, the language authorities Lindley Murray, Joseph Priestly, and Hugh Blair, amongst others, campaigned against pronoun irregularities in pronoun use, such as lack of agreement in gender and number. Without coining words, this can only be done in the third person singular by use of compound terms like \u201chis or her\u201d. Grammarians in 1879, 1922, 1931, 1957, and the 1970s have accepted \u201cthey\u201d as a singular term that could be used in place of \u201che\u201d or \u201che or she\u201d, though sometimes limiting it to informal constructions. Others in 1795, 1825, 1863, 1898, 1926, and 1982 argued against it for various reasons. And whatever the grammarians might argue, people have been using the singular \u201cthey\u201d for about the last 600 years, though (as mentioned earlier) it can only be applied in certain cases. If new gender-neutral pronouns are not adopted, i\u2019m sure that singular \u201cthey\u201d will still be a point of contention for centuries to come. For further information on the use of singular \u201ctheir\u201d throughout the centuries, see the&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/motivatedgrammar.wordpress.com\/2009\/09\/10\/singular-they-and-the-many-reasons-why-its-correct\/\">large body of information<\/a>&nbsp;that Henry Churchyard has compiled on the subject.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"aligncenter uwm-c-img--center\"><a href=\"http:\/\/creativecommons.org\/licenses\/by-nc\/4.0\/\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"88\" height=\"31\" src=\"https:\/\/uwm.edu\/lgbtrc\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/692\/2024\/07\/88x31.png\" alt=\"Creative Commons\" class=\"wp-image-205\" \/><\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>This work is licensed under a&nbsp;<a href=\"http:\/\/creativecommons.org\/licenses\/by-nc\/4.0\/\">Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Frequently Asked Questions Pronouns \u2013 A How To Guide The numbered blanks can be filled with the pronouns below to show the different uses of pronoun options. Subject: __1__ laughed at the notion of a gender binary. 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